Publishers Clearing House Chased Out of Brandermill Neighborhood
Photo Courtesy of Publishers Clearing House
By Contributing Writer Thom de Plume
Mistaken for a door-to-door pest control sales team, representatives from Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes were chased out of a Brandermill neighborhood on Wednesday afternoon.
Witnesses reported that three individuals emerged from a nondescript white van in khaki pants, blue oxford shirts, and navy blazers. They were immediately met by an angry group of work-from-home residents, many in what was described by witnesses as a “Zoom-induced rage.” The PCH team attempted to furnish identification, but to no avail.
"We have signs against solicitation in this neighborhood, I don't care who you are,” yelled Roger Shortfuse, who currently serves as president of the Fox Chase neighborhood watch. "And besides, we're all very happy with our current pest control services." Fearing for their safety, the PCH representatives returned to their van and vacated the neighborhood.
The Beacon reached out to the PCH team to hear their side of the story: “It was challenging enough to find Fox Chase Terrace, what with Fox Chase Drive, Fox Chase Road, Fox Chase Lane, and Fox Chase Court,” a member of the PCH team reported. "Being chased from the neighborhood by a mob of angry residents was the final straw. It's just too bad we weren't able to deliver this prize money to would-be BranderMillionaire Susan McMonies."
Susan was entered into the sweepstakes when she renewed her subscription to Backyard Farm and Livestock Quarterly. Though she is disappointed she missed out on the money, she understands the situation. “Had I not been out to lunch with my son, I would’ve called the police the second I saw that van. What are neighbors for, if not to chase off solicitors?"
Lessons learned for Publishers Clearing House? “Next time, we might try delivering the prize money in an ice cream truck. Based on our market research, it appears to be the only solicitation that’s welcome in the neighborhood," a PCH representative reported. "Though our primary concern at the moment is what in the world we’re going to do with this giant check.”