Letter to the Editor: I Am Not a Copperhead

Jeff Watersnake, 4, Commodore Point

By Jeff Watersnake

So I’m scrolling through Brandermill Families the other day, and I see a photo of a snake. And I’m like, “Wait. That’s ME.”

Now my first thought is, “What nerve this person has, posting a photo of me on the internet without my permission.” But the real kicker was the caption: “Check out this Copperhead I spotted near the reservoir walking path.”

Aw heck no. Now you’ve gone and done it. Because, as you already know from the headline, I AM NOT A COPPERHEAD. I’m what’s called a Northern Watersnake.

I wish I could say this was the first time someone has made this mistake. Unfortunately, this misidentification of my species is something of a theme on Brandermill Families. So let me take this opportunity to educate you all on the differences between my species and Copperheads.

First of all, Copperheads are venomous. In other words, don’t get bitten by one. We Northern Watersnakes, on the other hand, are nonvenomous. While I still don’t recommend stepping on me or sticking your finger near my mouth, my bite won’t land you in the hospital.

Secondly, while our coloring can be similar to that of a Copperhead, our pattern is different. Do us all a favor and take some time to educate yourselves. A great place to start would be this page from the Virginia Herpetological Society.

Lastly, Copperheads are JERKS. They are showy and full of themselves. Don’t believe me? Go to any snake party - yes, we have parties - and I guarantee the loudest, most obnoxious snake will be a Copperhead. We Northern Watersnakes tend to be more reserved, humble, and down-to-earth.

So next time you see me down by the reservoir, rest assured I’m just a harmless Northern Watersnake, and my pen is mightier than my bite.