Brandermill Archaeologists Uncover Evidence of Neighborhood’s Earliest Known Pyramid Scheme

Archaeologists in Brandermill have uncovered evidence of the neighborhood’s earliest known pyramid scheme. 

Pyramid schemes are business models that rely on recruiting new members. These members buy into the business for a fee, and members above them receive a percentage of that fee. The shape of the company structure therefore resembles a pyramid. 

“It’s incredible that these early Brandermillians, with primitive tools and technology, could have built such an elaborate pyramid scheme,” said archaeologist Abbey Diggs. “It’s one of the neighborhood’s greatest mysteries.”

Little is known of the ancient pyramid scheme, only that its founder was known as “The Pharaoh” and new members were called “Scribes.” Once a Scribe recruited a certain number of members, they were promoted to “Noble,” at which point they were awarded an all-expense paid trip to Orlando.

Not surprisingly, records suggest a shockingly small percentage of members ever achieved Noble status. 

Various artifacts from the pyramid scheme will be on permanent display at the Brandermill Community Association office and can be viewed during regular business hours.